Two Muslims – A Small Skit

Man#1 stands outside a small food stall on a dirty corner somewhere in a North American city. While waiting for his sandwich, Man#1 is approached by Man#2. Man#2 addresses Man#1 with a thick accent:

Man#2: You Muslim?

Man#1: Yes, I am. Are you?

Man#2: [Chuckles]…, you Muslim, huh? Where you get that bag?

Man#1: I bought it. Online.

Man#2: You know what this means [Man#2 points to Man#1’s bag]?

Man#1: Yes. It’s the Prophet’s San…

Man#2: Yes, let me please tell you. It’s the Prophet’s Sandal.

Man#1: Yes, I know it is. I bou…

Man#2: Where you get this? You Muslim?

Man#1: Yes, akhi. I am a Mus…

Man#2: You read Holy Qur’an?

Man#1: Yes, I do. I used to teach…

Man#2: This book is Holy Book. In Arabic language. Not like your English.

Man#1: Yes, I know. I studied Ara…

Man#2: My father was shaykh. I used to know many Qur’ans. Many suwrah.

Man#1: Oh, that’s great. Umm…, well, I gotta be…

Man#2: You pray? You pray the salah?

Man#1: Yes, akhi. I pray 5 times a…

Man#2: My grandfather was a shaykh. He knew the whole Qur’an.

Man#1: That’s great. Look, I’d really love to…

Man#2: Ma’sha Allah, may God guide you. I have to go now. I own a party store. I have to get back.

Man#1: Oh, okay. We’ll maybe I’ll see…

Man#2: It’s not haram!! Wa’Allahi al-‘Adheem!, I don’t drink. This is for the kafirs. I sell only to kafir.

Man#1: Sure. Okay, well, it was nice…

Man#2: I have to go. You Muslims, right?

God as my witness, this exchange took place right after my moving to Philadelphia. It was one of the funniest moments in my life. I know there are some of you out there that have had this same experience with almost the same exact guy! Well, just a little humor to start the week with.

16 Replies to “Two Muslims – A Small Skit”

  1. MAD funny!! that’s all i have to say. it’s happened to ME too as a hijabi. I’ve been asked: “do you know who to pray?” “do you know Al-fatiha?”..commical.

  2. I know that guy, he is my father. He once got into an argument with the Rabbi of the Synagogue about how to say a prayer. He never went back. Old men from the old country who are set in their ways. Ah well. It could be two of any religion.

  3. As salaamu alaykum,

    I know that guy, I’ve met him before. In California he owned a liquor store and in Michigan he owned a party store. He sure does get around lol.

  4. Haha… I get the “Where are you from? Where are you really from?” They seem so confused when I just name two different US States. 🙂

  5. Ya subhanallah! I’ve been asked if I pray too, and I’ve been asked to recite al-fatihah too! I’ve also been told by some people that I have to do things they themselves did not do! 😮

  6. You Muslim? Where you from?
    Where in US?
    North Carolina
    Where you from originally?
    New York
    Where you parents from?
    Where you parents from originally?
    US and Germany
    Are you arab?
    Are you Pakistani?
    Are you really Muslim?
    YUP, alhumdulillah!

  7. Irving! Thanks for posting. It’s true. I imagine that this is not a phenomenon only known to Muslims in America. Life and religion can be amusing and funny at times.

  8. Man: You Muslim?

    Me: Alhamdulillah I hope so.

    Man: Why you reading that??

    Me: What?


    Me: Er, al ghazali??


    etc etc


    SOME MUSLIM: salam – I’m Aish’a.

    Me: Waalaikum assalam, I’m Debbie

    SM: *stunned* Salaam. I’m Aish’a

    Me: Waalaikum assalam – I’m Debbie

    SM: *fishing for another answer* I’m AISH’A

    Me: Still? Cool. I’m Debbie. Please to meet you.

    SM: You Muslim?

    Me: *fighting back an urge to say I wear jilbab and hijab as a fashion statement and rolling my eyes saying DUH a lot* Alhamdulillah… you?

    SM: Sorry, sister. But whats you MUSLIM name?

    Me: *grinding teeth* Debbie.

    SM: *confused* And you’re MUSLIM??

    Me: I think so… I’m starting to question that myself now…

    SM: So when are you going to GET a Muslim name?

    Me: I have a Muslim name

    SM: *smiling* Oh really?? Great! So what is it?

    Me: Debbie.

    SM: *confused* er….

    Me: *I help out* I’m not Arab

    SM: *wanders off pronouncing takfir on me to other sister*

    You need a thick skin huh?

  9. Funny addition to this. I met a young man on the train to work this morning who happens to have the same bag as I do. After a short conversation we both laughed at having almost similar experiences because of the bag. Life is very, very funny.

  10. I think I smell a Muslim-Seinfeld coming on. We need to talk to someone in Hollywood!

  11. **note HIJABI=ME**

    in a randam store/STARBUCK/WALMART/METRO

    PERSON: ‘Excuse me? Are you a NUN?’

    HIJABI: As i roll my eyes and scretch out a smile ‘NO, i’m MUSLIM’.:neutral:

  12. Salaam,

    Hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing. That was a nice stress relief from studying physics all day. That has happened to me before on many ocassions, but I more often get comments about where I’m “really” from. I guess Wisconsin is not good enough for most people.

    Wa Salaam

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